Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
