you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
