Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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