he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
