Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
