Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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