Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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