Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
