If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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