im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
