I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
