I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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