Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
