everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
