that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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