he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
