Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
