Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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