Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
