Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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