Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize