i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your shirt... Was in my pants
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Your penis caused this!
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