We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
