We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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