They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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