I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
