told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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