whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
