So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
