We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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