does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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