at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had to cum in my sink.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
