Is it normal to miss your booty call?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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