My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I won the penis lottery.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
