Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
