Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
