i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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