He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
