careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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