I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
