i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
