it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize