i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
