it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
