We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize