OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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