I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
