Will you blow on my dice?
Soap is not a condiment
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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