What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
