I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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