I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize