yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
