hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
