On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
